Jo, It's been a while because I've got my own demons to exorcise but I agree with Ellie. I know you don't like to hear it but unlike most of the people here who are trying to change, heal, and reconcile, your EX isn't. If I pulled some of the tricks he's pulled I'd expect my wife to divorce me. He is operating from a position of weakness and he still tries to control your life. Listen to your friends.
