I will never get custody again, now, not after all this time and besides which when a kid gets to 13, they can pretty much chose where they live.
If one of them contested the fact that they lived with him, a court could grant that they are allowed to be with me or they could run away and state to social services that they wanted to live with me but I doubt either would happen as obviously they have loyalties towards their father.
You're right though, I shouldn't react to him. It just makes it worse.
I still think DB'ing is more effective than law, as I got so much further with my family by DB'ing than I did with the lawyer.
Maybe if I had learnt DB'ing in the first year, I wouldn't have needed a lawyer.
Still, no sense in me being negative, it makes me feel worse. I am having a bad few days mood wise.
I will say he wasn't like this in the marriage because it was mainly me that raised the kids and he didn't question anything I did with them then. I think it is one of those separated power games.
Maybe if I act totally detached and 'not bothered' and just don't say anything ever, he'll stop being like that because it doesn't have an effect, and see that I should raise them how I want, too.
It's just hard to be non-emotional about my family and I still feel that the easiest way to have them all is through reconciliation - although I am beginning to think the whole family needs serious therapy.
