Jo - can we take the focus off your H for a minute? From everything you've told us - he is an absolute fruitcake, a nut, a crazy person. And I think you need to get OUT of the mode of reacting to him, and letting him push your buttons and upset you - and focus on the fact that your poor children are being raised by a nut, and what can you do to help them.
You need to document everything, be completely above repoach in your dealings with him and the girls, and gather all the ammunition you can so that someday, if necessary, you can file again to get custody of your girls.
You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, so maybe there's some way to sweet-talk your way around your Ex. But there's something very abnormal about him, the way he treats you and the girls - very creepy.
