In the past when I had 2 and a half days a week as offered by the court, he was even worse with me than now and we had more rows.
Then, everything I did with the kids was 'monitored' by him and he constantly picked on me about everything I did with them and told me I was rubbish at everything.
It takes a person with nerves of steel to put up with that and I couldn't.
He'd leave little notes in their bag, criticize me for the home ed I was doing with them (one time we did the royal family from 1500 and then our own family tree, and he went MAD because I listed myself as mother).
He said the activities I did with them were 'inappropriate' (we did cutting and sticking out of a baby magazine - pictures of dad's with their babies, and then gave one to him. He took offence, you tell me why that is inappropriate??).
Then he said he wanted to syncrinise the lessons so I was teaching them the same thing as him, that he wanted a timetable of everything we did at my house. I got drunk on purpose after reading that letter.
The food I gave them was wrong - he got annoyed because I treated them to nice stuff. He went MAD because dd2 asked to watch home videos of when she was a baby, and it was her request.
According to my dd's he would question them whenever they got back about what I'd been doing and whether I said anything mean about his then OW.
I had them in tears here because he gave them the third degree whenever they visited me.
It was literally everything - even right down to questioning them about what I had let them watch on TV and what time they went to bed.
As a result we were always fighting and I was always crying.
Then the court put me back down to 2 days a fortnight due to unfounded petty remarks by him about my care of them, and that was AFTER I'd done 3 months of home ed with them and given him all their work because I was trying to include him. Even ex-ow says I am better at home ed than him ('bloody brilliant' were her exact words).
I just flipped, after all that effort. Nothing I do as a mother is ever good enough, and I know I don't want that many rows again, which is why I walked out of court and why I refused his 2 days a fortnight, and why I keep my distance from them.
It sucks, but it's better than how it was before. On the limited times I do see them, I just act for him, then there are no rows. He definitely gives me stacks more say and respect when I am his partner then when I am not.
I am angry about it a lot of the time, and very hurt by his previous rejection of my mothering of them, when I tried so hard.
He isn't sorry for this and until he is, it is difficult for me to bite my tongue. I'd rather be distant than forever yelling at him, which is how I feel at the moment.
