You're right that I can't help Andy, but by being the one to make the decisions I can at least help me.
That's why I think it should be me that sets the boundaries.
You are not co-dependent from what I've read. You are in a normal stage of grief. You are going to be attached to your D15, for heaven's sake, she's your daughter, you MADE her!
I know how you feel because you know the auguish I've been through being a non-custodial mother, and of COURSE you want your daughter, that is NORMAL.
If you didn't grieve for what was, and all your dreams that haven't happened the way you wanted, I would think you were ill.
We've all been there on this site, some of us took it harder than others, but nonetheless, we have all experienced the agony of selling up home, splitting up our kids, vicious rows with our ex's, hurt, betrayal etc. Marrige break up is a DEVASTATING thing which has a ripple effect on all other areas of your life and affects every member of your family for the worse, as well as you.
It is far easier to work on a M than it is to get a D. The effects of working on a marriage aren't as devastating as a D. I read in an article that it takes the average person 5 years to reacclimatise (sp?) after a D.
