Co-dependency makes you do things to please your spouse and when they're not pleased you are hurt. My W and I were both co-dependent. If I could look on our situation objectively I'd see her vindictive attacks for what they were, her attempt to deal with her co-dependency. As for me, I've got to deal with mine also therefore, from Michelle we read GAL, 180, go dark et. al. all designed not to play games but for me or you or anyone else in our predicament to break the co-dependency. Think of two happily married people when one dies and the survivor cannot live without the deceased. That too is co-dependency. Quite frankly, I thought it was OK until I see the predicament I'm in now. I'm not just co-dependent on my W it's my house, and D15. I've got to break that dependency and so do you, for your own well being, not Andy's. Andy has to break it for himself, you can't help him, or he'll always tar and feather himself with his own brush. It's a viscious circle that when broken makes for two strong individuals who love one another not depend on one another. So much for the theory now I've got to "walk the talk."
