What do you do if the co-dependency is on both sides, though?
Remember I had no contact with this man at all for 1 year, so I know I can live without him because I did.
Both of us had psychological evaluations as part of the court stuff and the evaluator said we were both 'mutually psychologically dependent' so what that means is, whenever I try to back away, he pulls me to him, and if he gets cold feet, I get scared so we go round in circles a lot of the time.
It's all very well saying I should realise I'm co-dependant etc, but HE is as dependent on me. We have spent most of our lives together and neither one of us can remember much before the other one was there, aside from very early childhood.
I think the key to this R is to be strong enough to break the cycle and say no to him and then he will realise he has to commit, or if he doesn't, to say goodbye properly and at least know where we stand.
I think it has to be me to be firm because he would never make a decision one way or another.
I had to divorce him because even though he said he wanted a divorce, he wouldn't sign the papers. He didn't sign them in 2 years. They went through without his signature and I eventually put them through court myself because we had been separated so long.
He didn't want to have to be the one to make a decision, so in that respect I think I am the stronger one.
