Jo, I've read all the posts here and really can't make any sense of your situation. You know I think you're a saint. You've helped some amny others including me. The more I read about you and Andy the more dysfunction I see. Bear with me but I read co-dependency and that's something only you can come to grips with. I'd suggest stop trying to please your X. Lou and dogma offer some sage advice which Andy will respect you more for your independence than your dependency. Hope this helps
