Well, I am no expert but here's what I think on the subject:
If your W has a complaint, don't talk over her or be thinking up arguments you can say back. Listen and reflect back some of the things she feels (by using some of her language so she knows you were listening).
Don't walk out of the room mid-conversation or go really quiet as women solve problems by talking so she will feel unloved if you walk away.
No yawning, scratching, turning the TV on in the middle of the discussion.
After you have validated her feelings, then say 'I understand this, however, it makes me feel X, Y and Z so maybe we could compromise?'
If it's something where you can meet her half-way, do it, and don't raise your voice. She will likely compromise with you if you do with her.
Always end a tense discussion with a hug or whatever your W is most attracted to. For me it's physical attention so if H hugs me after a row, everything is better immediately.
Remember it isn't important who is right or wrong, it's how you love each other that counts.
If there is something you will never agree on, remember you are different people and agree to differ. There are other things you can give each other. You don't necessarily need to agree.
Designate specific jobs to each other. For instance, in my M, I was in charge of paying bills, paying the kids school fees, Christmas and birthday presents and where we went on holiday, how often etc.
H was in charge of his business, my website, when we visited family, final choice on any houses we lived in, the type of car we had, anything to do with gardening or DIY etc.
I accepted that anything that was 'his' choice, I did not challenge and he was the same with my choices. The only times we ever rowed in the M was when I was medically ill and when there was a third party problem with relatives etc.
It doesn't eliminate arguments but it reduced them. Obviously I can't do this when living separately.
Writing down a list of everything wonderful you think your partner has done during the week and then giving them the list. They will find it hard to be mad with you then.
If you need space, saying to them I just need a bit of me time BUT I love you and I'll be back in a bit and then returning from your space with a kiss and a chat.
That's just my 2p worth and sometimes I am rubbish at it but I try.
