Hi Gabriel

Am typing this and then going to bed, it's nearly 1am here.

I didn't make any comment about Kazaa in response but when he mentioned the radio gig I said 'that's exciting' and dd2 was saying to me how she has never been on TV.

I said yes you have, loads of times. The first time my dd2 was on TV she was only 4 weeks old I told her that daddy has the tapes at his house if she wants to see herself on TV

That was all that was mentioned of it. I spoke mainly to her about it rather than him. I am being careful after that horrible email.

I felt kind of awkward around him most of the time except for when we laughed about me buying a computer from him, which was natural - surprisingly enough. The spark is still there. I am sure I don't want a SL with him, though, unless he marries me.

It is a bit frustrating for a relatively HD woman like me but then I remind myself that is base instinct and not sensible in the curcumstances.

So I shall be Miss Iron Knickers for the time being

It's funny, because I ML with him more in my dreams than I do in real life and some of the stuff I come up with in the dreams is more exciting than real life, and since I keep a diary of my dreams, a lot of it is rather 18 rated I would say on average when I am abstinent there are about 4 sexual dreams per month and when I'm sleeping with him in real life, there is maybe 1 sexual dream a month.

The other thing I noticed is, it's always him I sleep with in the dreams, never anyone else - so I don't even cheat in fantasies How about that for fidelity?

Oh, and I do get prophetic sexual ones too - as I have often dreamed of us being together and then a couple of weeks later it happens in the exact same way it did in the dream.

I just leave the diary lying around as dd4 who lives with me is only 2 and can't read yet - but my 7 year old can read so I will have to remember to keep it out of the way next time she visits.

In fact, H did ask me several times to read it but I haven't let him. I'm way too shy Maybe if we get back on track.

Jo.