Just had a very long talk with my husband. He is trying to reassure me that he is coming home after his trip, and that he loves me. He also mentioned that divorce is his trump card,a nd the only leverage he has. He said he willnot make any decisions right now, as he wants to see how things will work out. Right now he feels we are in a Mexican Standoff...who is going to put down their weapons first. I want so much to believe him, he seems so sincere. I told him that many of my insecurities stem from the fact that the divorce is looming over my head like a black cloud. I told him that I loved him and that I want a chance to be a proper wife to him, but he got upset again,and said I am asking too much at this time.I guess he was right, I have to step back. I just feel so anxious sometimes, and although patience is a virtue, it is not one of mine. He kept assuring me that he would be coming home and is not planning on going anywhere. We just need to take babysteps. This is so damn difficult.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
