Hopeful

[BeingMe]

Eight children! Wow, FaH, I thought I had a lot with four, but they're worth it, 'eh!?

I have just read your sitch on this thread and find there are some similarities between us. We have both been with our H's for 20 years, and had multiple children. I think our children was what drew my H back, and maybe that will happen to you too. Even though they say they don't want to stay for their sakes. Having children makes one's M more of a commitment, IMO.

Not sure what advice I can give you except that his so-called best friend has no right to infringe her opinion into your M. Don't phone her again. There have been so many times that I almost phoned my H's OW (it was an EA, but an A, nonetheless), but thankfully I stopped myself. They will always have excuses for why they are involved with the married man, etc. Don't be surprised if you H is having an EA with this woman. His privacy issue would make me suspicious. Anyway, best to be prepared. I thought I would have a heart attack when I discovered my H's EA. Just remember that it ain't over until the judge says so, and with having children together, it will never really be over - OW always hope that it would be, but the stats speak for themselves.

Why does your H have trust issues? Or am I reading your post incorrectly? I would've thought you would be the one with trust issues. I certainly don't trust my H, and probably never will completely. They pay a huge price when they WA from their wife and children. One just hopes they wake up before it's too late to repair the damage.

Another thing you can try, that worked for me, is dropping the rope. A really good DB technique. Once I had dropped the emotional rope (lovingly, of course), I felt I could carry on alone and didn't need my H. I felt more in control of myself. It's strange how quickly my H wanted to reconcile when he thought I was moving on. WTH!!!!!

Glad you are growing spiritually! I lost a lot in that department, but am starting to pray again. It sure helps a lot.

Hoping for the best for you.