Actually, you aren't Stuck with anything....feel free to change your name....many on this BB have as their situations have changed....just let us know what you change your name too. Oh, your old posts will also reflect your new name (I believe).
This response of yours to another was really great. I wish i wasnt so wishy washy irl and could make up my mind. I keep hoping the "guy in my head" will be the guy I'm married to. HUGS
LostGal, Thanks. I'm trying. I think H notices and appreciates the difference. But it's hard. I worry about backsliding. And it's still the case that it's easier for me (than for MrDoglover) to sometimes believe I'm just "too tired" or "too preoccupied".
And then there are the times when I try to initiate but he's not in the mood - it even happens that way once in a while.
And given that both of us are probably older than most of you (he's eligible for senior discounts anywhere and I'm 7 years younger) there are a lot of preconditions now.
So "the mood" is probably less important than scheduling everything right - he has various meds he's on, some of which make viagra necessary and some of which can't be taken within 4 hours of viagra so it's all more complicated than just getting in the mood.
And then there's the added lube that's necessary for me and my electrical "third hand" to jumpstart my motor.
And he has a bad back and I have trick knees so there are positions we can't do.
So it's easy for the mood to be interrupted by "oh I forgot to get ..." (I keep everything close at hand now and nobody else comes into our BR) or "ouch that hurts" (not much to do about that - laughter helps, and prevention).
But it's more fun for me if I get in the mood so keep those suggestions coming.
Doglover
Quote: DL
This response of yours to another was really great. I wish i wasnt so wishy washy irl and could make up my mind. I keep hoping the "guy in my head" will be the guy I'm married to. HUGS
Laurell K Hamilton is great. A Kiss of Shadows is the first in her Meredith Gentry (faerie princess) series, and Guilty PLeasures is the first in her Anita Blake (vampire hutner) series. She has an excellent mix of erotic imagery and feeling with some amazing characters and the ability to develop a fairly believable world based off of relatively focused changes to history. She's got some amazing stories, too. If you're not much for horror, you might try the Meredith Gentry books first, but if you have any appreciation for darker imagery, the Anita Blake books are awesome, too. Both series get fairly explicit in their sex scenes, but LKH does an amazing job of making it feel natural rather than gratuitous. She also deals with relationships with people who have very odd issues.
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Thanks for this recommendation. I am a huge fan of the vampire/werewolf type of dark imagery in movies. I have read Anne Rice. I picked up a Laurell K. Hamilton book "Cerulean Sins" at the library - HOT HOT HOT! I will definately go back and check out some others.
Hmm, Maybe I'll pick this up for Mrs GGB. She's a huge Ann Rice fan. Has the whole collection in hardcover. Then again, she says she skips steamy scenes. Maybe we can read them together out loud
Quote: I picked up a Laurell K. Hamilton book "Cerulean Sins" at the library - HOT HOT HOT! I will definately go back and check out some others.
I was doing some reading in the book "Hot Monogamy" the other day. The author made lists of recommendations for the LD and the HD members of a drive-disparate marriage. On the list of recommendations for the HDfolk she said we should avoid doing things like reading erotica because it will make us even more horny and thereby add pressure to the situation. This is the kind of advice which I choose to ignore because it misses the point that it's not just that HDfolk are more spontaneously horny than LDfolk, HDfolk like to do things that make them feel horny because they like feeling horny. Having a high desire to feel desire is a large part of being HD. In fact, it's probably all there is to being HD besides what amounts to hormones.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Excellent point and I agree with not purposely making yourself extra horny in a pressure cooker situation. Also, there is a difference between obsessively pursuing erotica and having a little "good dirty fun".
Actually, I have been very LD lately for many reasons. Some of them have kept me from posting very much. However, because being LD doesn't feel right or natural to me I spontaneously do things to up my libido. Isn't that funny?
Quote: Actually, I have been very LD lately for many reasons. Some of them have kept me from posting very much. However, because being LD doesn't feel right or natural to me I spontaneously do things to up my libido. Isn't that funny?
I don't think it's funny at all. It's really just the same as, for instance, planning a trip to cheer yourself up. Because, by definition, HD people think of sex as an enjoyable activity, when you are in a state of mind that you don't even feel like sex would be fun, you are probably kind of depressed. The thing I still don't quite get about myself is that I find the opposite is true too. If I try to make myself feel LD, I find myself becoming depressed. Maybe there's some sort of biochemical feedback loop involved. Maybe I can will myself to lower my testosterone levels but because testosterone is a "good" chemical, one that makes a person feel full of "life energy", doing this to myself has a bad psychological effect.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Thanks ladies for the recommendations. I love Ann Rice's books...and these look right up my alley as well. I've already been to Amazon and ordered several of them
