The "straw" - more porn

[LostGal]

If you EVER find the link between "Fear Hugs/Touch" and Pictures please share that.

H dislikes intimate touching. So, while he's eyeballing those teens doing the BJs; it would be impossible to me to offer the same without touching. He actually complained in counseling about me wanting to touch him.

[COgal]

Now THAT would make for some good reading:) I've never met a man before who didn't like to be touched, and I never got the pushing away earlier in our relationship.

I'm a little queasy thinking about him coming home today/tonight if that even happens. I don't know how he'll react to the packing material (shredded/ripped porn mags) in the trash bag that I put on his office chair. You know, it felt GOOD to do that yesterday even if it did burn out my shredder! I did keep a few for proof though.

[LostGal]

Well, now you know of atleast 2 men who don't like touch. For me it seems to be an allergic reaction to children.

Do you live in a "show cause state for divorce"?

[COgal]

No. I'm in a "no-fault" state.

[LostGal]

Thats very lucky!

[cally]

Cogal...you are letting him come back home??

[COgal]

I've told him that I want him gone by the end of the month...he'll leave sooner IF he comes back at all.

[MJontheMend]

I really feel for you on the porn issue. I've had my own troubles with my H in that area, though luckily nothing like the worrisome intersection of teen porn and a teen daughter in the household.

I have two thoughts for you that might make you feel better. It's easy to feel like you don't measure up if you allow yourself to think that you are in direct competition with the porn stars because they are younger and more physically attractive (according to our lame cultural standards) than you. What if, for instance, you found that your H was looking at porn that featured nothing but tatooed Asian women? Would you even consider comparing yourself to these images?

Another thing to consider is that really your H's behavior is quite pathetic. I think a porn addict is the ultimate example of someone who is "living a life of quiet desperation". I mean maybe for a few minutes at a time he can maintain the fantasy that he is a stud making it with all the hot young chicks but then there has to come that moment where the reality that he is alone in the bathroom with his pants down, hiding out from the real woman who cares for him, making "love" to a computer-aided image for which he just spent $6 that went into the coffers of some wealthy porn-pushers, who are happy to enrich themselves by treating their customers with the lack of respect they deserve if they choose to purchase images of young girls.

[cinemanymph]

I've never met a man before who didn't like to be touched

You haven't met my H.

[cinemanymph]

(((COgal)))

I am so sorry to hear of your sitch. You are right to kick him to the curb if you feel that he is looking at your daughter or her friends with impropriety.

I am wondering if your H is unsuccessfully hiding what a lot of men find attractive. All men should know that it is amoral to think that barely adult children are sexually attractive. For some the urge to look and pursue is there. Is it ok? Not by a long shot, but how many times a day does the average person think something that is not ok and not act on it? I'm not saying it is ok for your H to be viewing the porn he is. If he thought it was ok, he wouldn't be hiding it from you. I believe there are men that think that if the law says it's ok, then it's alright to think of an 18 year old that way. Men who don't feel they can rise to the challenge of fulfilling the needs of an experienced woman often resort to impressing barely adult girls with shiny cars and a few dollars.