Hi Martha - Good tip on Martianese, I will actually try that next time we are stuck in an apparently no-win deal
I'm copying over here something that I need to whack myself with every so often, because this is NG down to a T. Pen's observation on Bets' thread
Quote: Betsey – men are simple creatures at heart. (Pain = to be avoided) x 100 x 3³ is a formula you can reduce many of their actions to. Feeling pain, discussing pain, inflicting pain. Divorce = painful. Discussing the why’s of a divorce with in-laws that love and care about the ex-spouse = painful. Discussing divorce/ex-spouse with anybody = painful because it reminds one of things one would rather not think about, like own failures and own inadequacies.
I really think it is that simple, and rooted in the knowledge that he messed up his life in a bad way, but would prefer not to deal with that or have others remind him.
I think it’s quite natural to feel as you do about this, by the way, and you addressed the issue quite kindly. You go girl!
Pen
I need to start any tackle with the key question - what's the pain level here
