I have to agree with Michele. This is absolutely a huge step forward that NG is sharing this with you. It is creating real, true intimacy, and you are doing a beautiful job creating a safe place for him to do that.
One word of caution -- I don't think it's a good idea to bring up/compare his processing of the OW thing with your R. Those 2 things must remain separate. Let him work through this. It's probably going to mean some cave time for him. Let him have that time. When he comes out of the cave, then you can test the waters about discussing the rebuilding of your R together. And, in the mean time, just keep making deposits in his love bank!
Patience, patience, patience. This is his stuff -- let him own it.
