Quote: maybe, the flush of romance has a lot to do with the lack of expectations?
Maybe it's that at the beginning we are trying so hard to meet the other person's expectations. We clean up before a date -- while in a M, you "come as you are" a lot of the time. In dating, you expect some kind of event, like dinner, movies, live performances, hikes, etc. while in M, you have laundry, dishes, bills and kids with their own darn schedules.
I think in a partnership you have to have expectations. But they need to be spoken and understood by each partner. That's where I fell down in my M. I didn't speak my expectations, and was really disappointed when H failed to meet them. It's on me because I didn't tell him what I expected clearly, non-judgmentally and openly. I didn't give him the chance to speak his objections to my expectations, either.
What do I mean when I say "expectations"? I expected him to change diapers. I expected him to help prepare meals. I expected him to take part in house cleaning. I expected him to be a full partner in parenting. I expected him to go to work and do a good job. I expected him to be faithful.
I assumed he knew my expectations, but we all know what happens when we assume!
