Hi Michele - I promised myself that I'd think through your points carefully, and just before we head off on our weekend, here I am
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You can be spontaneous a zillion ways -- tell him you love him, breakfast in bed, have some unusual meal, DO A 180!

Yeah, I get this now H2H pretty much reminded me of the same thing, wonder why I got stuck down the he-is-not-doing-anything tunnel. So yes, we are off on a boating weekend up the river, courtesy of Slowly's inspired spontaneity
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Have you read the book "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell? He says we are all experts in day-to-day living. You are the expert on your M. How do you think he's coping? Is that knowledge enough for you? Or is what you really want something different? Like a big "clear the air heart to heart". Or, in Betsey's terms, an "exit interview." Perhaps, in your case, "a re-entry interview."

I actually want the latter, but know better than ask for it, or even wish for it. NG will run a mile at the mere suggestion of a heart-to-heart. I'll just have to do my best to infer from all the other clues that he chooses to impart.
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You don't have to be a clone of your spouse. You don't have to "match his energy." You just have to be yourself, and appreciate your differences.

Absolutely. But, I also agree with Sage's observation, filling up his love tank is also important. Sooo, I think I've worked out a plan for us both to be happy. I can tell when he is really looking forward to QT, and happily, it is the same times that I just need to take a break from myself too. Other times, when he is happy, I'm off on my own trips. Seems to be working OK.

Basically, I just need to slow down, which is good for me (too), and re-set my expectations a little. And now, as it is poets day (push off early, tomorrow is Saturday) we are off to the West Country for a relaxing weekend away from mobile phones and the Internet.

We'll be back by Sunday mid-day, see you then maybe Slowly

A Liberal Allowance of Time