My LD sister called this morning, lamenting the fact that her HD husband was criticizing her about her housekeeping skills. She asked how I have handled MrPot all these years, when he was critical of me. Unfortunately the baby squalled and I had to cut the call short but I wasn't sure how I was going to answer her anyway. She does not know of our SSM, or that I am HD. I have never felt comfortable discussing this with her, as she is LD and would think I was a freak. I will tell her someday--and this was the perfect opportunity--but it wasn't meant to be, today.
The thing that snapped MrHP out of his relentless criticism and hostility was frequent sex. I'm sure that would do wonders in her own marriage. Her H is feeling resentful because he is expected to help around the house but she does not ever make time "for him". So he picks on her about their house, which btw is NOT messy. It is nearly immaculate, considering they have two small kiddoes, and even not considering them.
So I was thinking of how to put the scenario into words. The truth is that once we started having sex, all of his frustrations melted away and he became MUCH more pleasant to be around. He was always attentive and wanted to please me, but he was so critical at the same time that I never "felt" the nice stuff, I only remembered that he was peeved off because the counters were not wiped clean with bleach. (no joke here) Nowadays he is downright complimentary of whatever I am able to get done, which is considerably less than it was then since we have more kids. Such a change is still miraculous to me. I want to say to her, Have more sex with him...do what he is asking of you and pay attention to him, and the house will not be such a sticking point for you two. Right now, he's just criticizing you because you use the house and kids as an excuse to not ML to him and yet the kids are still always crying and the house is a mess.
This was a longwinded way of saying a resounding YES I agree, that my LDH is worlds happier now that we are ML regularly. Though he finds it to be a "chore" now and then, I now for certain that he would not go back to the way it was.
