Anna - Thanks for reassuring me that I handled the post-ML well. I was still pondering if I reacted ok with that statement. When he said it, it did sound like a half-joke. I don't know...maybe am trying to make myself better...

KDK - Go ahead and have daily/weekly mini-goals. I feel it is a good thing for me to do. I think it breaks our loooonng journey through our sitch into small bite-size manageable slots that we allows us to see the positive results.

Last night...H came back at about 10.30 pm....he said he had a work function. I was already in bed...with lights off, but we managed to have a short chat about ..urgh..finances again. But nothing ugly, since the ball is in his court now. (I've relingquished my responsibilities in the home finance sector) Ever since the bomb dropped, I told him that he give me a fixed lump sum for the boys and the mortgage, and he is to sort out the other stuff...like his own credit cards and car loan. Previously, we were always arguing because I do the finances and think he spends too much on entertainment/restaurants, and he was defensive and said "I have my standards of living!" (But of course, now I know that it is because he has been wining and dining the OW...) Another night of calm sea....

Thought he would join us for breakfast this morning, but he declined citing bad traffic to work. Was a little dissapointed since it is his birthday today...and thought that he would want to spend some time with the boys...and he is going away this afteroon... Oh well...don't let it bother you...YOYO...it's a bright and sunny day...

I really do have ideas popping in my head whenever H says he is going out/ working late etc etc. I really hate it and at times have great urges asking him "Are you sure? Is it true? blah blah blah". The urges, I have to say are really really GREAT. And it really takes strong willpower to STOP. I mean if I ask or query him, he will either get angry or defensive...and I will get back to ZERO. If I just let it be, I am sure he will tell me whatever he wants to tell me when he is ready, right? If he wants to lie, I can't do anything about it. And hounding him with "are you telling the truth? are you telling the truth" will certainly make him mad. That I am certain. So, I just have to keep reminding myself...be patient...be patient...when he is ready to rebuild the M, he will tell me.

I am still waiting for the day that he would come up and give me a hug, hold my hand, brush my face, give me a real tender kiss! *sigh* That is still a loooooonnng way away..But I shall be patient to wait till this day...if this day will ever come....

Just have to contend with my little bit of intimacy during ML.... more of lust rather than love??!!? *Sigh*

GAL for tomorrow..
1) Yoga in the morning..
2) Take boys out shopping and lunch
3) Bake cupcakes with boys
4) Afternoon tea with girl pal....

Mini-goal for Sat...H will be back early enough from his trip to have dinner with boys and I

One Day at a Time...