I wonder if we all wonder if our spouses are different from other WASs. I know how much I read other people's stuff and think "That is sooo different from H. Oh, he'll never do that. Thank god he doesn't do THAT. Oh, how I wish he'd do THAT!" Like, we still haven't had a fight. No harsh words since he left. We're bizarre.
BUT that being said, I understand what you mean about ILY (not that my H wants me to say it - just the opposite). Look at past responses. Does he say it back? What is his body language? Would it maybe drive him crazy (ie motivate him) to WANT to hear it, but not hear it? Does he want to hear it so that he knows you are still 'conquered'?
And finally, I know that you do love him, but he seems to be displaying some pretty cruel behaviours (in his statements). Are you sure you want to tell THIS version of your H that you love him? Or do you want to see your old H and tell THAT GUY that you love him? You may have to wait, but it may be more true and satisfying.
