Man yoyo! He really seems to have lost his marbles. In my oh-so-uninformed opinion. I wonder what he's pushing for? What does he think he can gain by all these weird declarations? Has he always had poor impulse control?
Was he serious about the monk thing? Is he that disengaged from reality?
Anna - About the monk thing...when we chatting last night (I was half-asleep by the way), he said he was only joking, and he didn't mean that he was gonna bring her. He said "I said bring a partner..I didn't say I would bring OW". Well, it's true. He did say "partner". I was the one that ASSumed and put OW into the "partner" position. I have to say that his jokes ARE NOT funny. I don't know if it's because he is stressed at work and also coupled with the break-up that he is trying to hide behind all these nonsense talk!!??!! Don't think he is that disengaged from reality. Still realised that he needs to go to work and earn the bacon. In his tipsy-ness yesterday, he did managed to put money to pay for the mortgage (got all the 10 digits correct); and did give me some other $$ to pay for my car loan etc.
He has also mentioned that he should try to look for an alternative job. One - to get away from her?? Two - to protect her reputation?? I really don't know what's going in his mind.
As SherryL mentioned, I should give him LOTS of space, and only ask questions when he seems okay with it..Questions not relating to OW or our R, but about his day. But it is rather difficult if he keeps mentioning OW's name.
Anyway, as I said, am quite numb already to all his nonsense. Am taking what he says with a pinch of salt. Not believing them totally....just maybe 20% as opposed to the normal 50% ?
We (my family, his mom, boys and I) will be going on a musical about "Oliver Twist" this weekend. Have informed him about that already, and told him that he does have a ticket. But it is okay if he doesn't want to join. So far, he has not said if he will or will not go. Ditto with our beach holiday on the 9th June. Even if he declines to go, I will still proceed to go with my two boys. (Yup..am abit sore about the lost $$ on his ticket but can't help it...had to keep it in case he wants to join....it's really his call).
Wow, your H just loves to push things with what he says. Don't know how you're doing it, staying so calm in front of him. Must drive him nuts.
My H was always the kind of guy to make some remarks when there was a good looking woman on the TV etc, and it never bothered me. But last week he did it a few times, and I guess because he's with OW, his comments got to me but I didn't show it. The funny thing is that he's not physically attracted to OW, she's really nothing to look at. He always has said that I'm the most attractive woman he's ever met ( but I think this makes him insecure too and he hates when i talk to other men ), and that he has still been attracted to me while pregnant. He loves when I dress up. I could never picture OW in heels, skirt or dress, with make up....she's borderline tom-boy at the age of 28? I think.
Enough about my sitch ( i could go on forever )... Sounds intersting that your H is thinking about changing jobs. But until it happens I wouldn't think too much of what he says since his brain has been full of marbles the last few days.
Keep us posted if he actually goes thru with the things he's been saying and take care of yourself glj
glj - Mmm...I think I managed to stay so calm is because I am sooo numb from all this sh#t. Also, I know that I will survive this no matter what. I am not the one being shunned by family and friends. So, if he really thinks that this OW is sooooo great, and if he does run back to her...then I really wish him luck that she is WORTH it.
As for looking at other women...it really never bothered me at all. I actually will alert him when I see someone worth looking-at.....But what irks me was the remark "You and OW is in trouble nonsense"???!!! Hello!! Do I have to hear her name again?
Oh..I think Hs are kinda territorial. It is okay that they are with OW, but they get jealous when they think that you want OM. I have been looking better. Had to say that my spirits were really lifted today! Had so many compliments that I look good!!! (Well, did lose a couple of pounds with all this nonsense going in my life!! But ppl think that I am going through some fad diet like the Atkins or somthing to that extent!)
I was commenting about H's "attempt" to get another job to him...and he said "You don't believe...let me forward the emails to you!". Well, until now, I still have not seen the forwarded emails... You are right, until I see something..don't think I can believe it yet.
glj - you take care...do you know the sex of your baby??
I'm expecting a boy...the names chosen are Evan Sean. As for last name, I want the baby to have my maiden name ( I never changed my name over yet because we got married in canada, no time to start the process, and i couldn't exactly enter back into Taiwan with a different name then what i left this place with...all my documents, residency, work permit is under my maiden name. ) Just wondering if this will be a huge issue with my H when I bring it up, but then again he doesn't have HIS father's last name.
The looking at other women never did bother me before but I guess after he went looking, and found one, it bothers me now that he is just so casual around me still.
Men are very territiorial, at least my H. He even had the nerve to tell me that if I do find someone else he'll have to deal with the jealousy like I'm dealing with it now. Oh how he puts a light spin on things.
I WISH my H was territorial. He has said that he thinks that it would be good for me if I found someone else. That it would be my right to have a revenge affair.
It would be nice if he cared enough to get jealous.
glj - Nice name for your little boy! Mmmm...would be interesting to find out what your H would say when he finds out the last name bit. Do keep us informed!
Anna - I think your H may say that. But I don't think he actually feels/thinks that way. Sometimes, we as humans always say the opposite things. I am sure if you actually starts seeing a man (as a friend, not the revenge affair stuff, because if you are not really up to it, and just doing it out of spite, you will feel like sh#t and may not be able to live with yourself ever...SO, don't do it unless you really can handle it), then you will see his colour change. I think he feels that you LOVE his so much that you will always reserve your heart for him, and not look at another guy. Test it out...and tell us about it!
I agree - Evan Sean is beautiful. Very simple and elegant.
yoyo- I'm considering rekindling a friendship with an old buddy. He and I always had a wonderful rapport. I went from having tons of guy friends to having none after marriage. What's that about??? Unfortunately, as much as I adore this guy, our friendship ended on a sour note. I'm nervous to call him in case he tells me off. But nothing ventured nothing gained, right?
He was my H's roommate all through university, a groomsman and the emcee of our wedding. I don't know if it would spark jealousy, although I suspect if anyone would, it's this guy. Mainly I just feel like I wish he was around to make me feel good. I chickened out of calling him tonight. Maybe tomorrow.
Have you had any men enter your life? What reaction have you gotten?
Read your post. I just recently got in touch with a guy friend that I lost touch with 5 years ago, just after I was married. We were great friends, spent alot of time together, and parted on a sour note. I called him 2 weeks ago, and it was like we had been talking just the week prior. It felt so good to talk to him, and to laugh again, and just to get caught up. So much has changed in that amount of time, and I regret that I let that friendship sizzle out. I can't say that your sitch will be like mine, but I think you might be surprised.
Anna - I have to say that I lead a pathetic life! I have been with H since I was about 16. GOSH!!! That is a looooong time ago. So, it would be quite an adventure if my H decides to leave me...I would be a-go-a-hunting for new meat!!!
