I just did some lecturing over the IM ... I know that it was anti-DBing, but just couldn't help myself
Really? You don't have control over your typing fingers? Who does then, if not you? ;-)
Look, I've been around this and other boards long enough to see familiar patterns. There are those people who continue to dwell and obsess on their WAS, assuming things, presuming things, analyzing, mind reading, having expectations that aren't met, which then creates a spiral downward into angst and more negative thoughts, which then causes more anger, backsliding and un-DB actions. There's always an excuse to minimize the behavior, followed by more of the same. Their situations never go anywhere, except to lead to frustration, impatience and the inevitable decision to call it quits because WAS hasn't come along.
Then there are those that diligently DB, and out of those, some reconciliate. The others know they've left no stone unturned. Many of them, however, find themselves in the process and are more optimistic about their future than they were at first, though sad about what's happened.
There are a few ways, therefore, that all this ends. Which of those paths do you want to be on? Walk the walk of the path you want. To quote Yogi Berra, "Wherever you're going, that's where you'll end up".
