I know I did a lot of anti-DB'ing today. I sent H 5 emails today. I was telling myself that I will leave him alone to think on this trip, and yet, I have been emailing non-stop. Sent him 3 emails yesterday. I know I know...I have to stop all these pursuing.
I backslide bad!!! In my emails, I accused him of ditching responsibilities etc etc. I know I have to validate his feelings etc etc. But I really didn't know what to do, and sent all these horrible emails to him. I hope I have not pushed him further away.
I really don't know what to do. I want him to choose me and the boys soooo badly. I want him to leave the OW so badly. I really love him so much, and can't bear all this happening to my family. All these while, I thought we were fine. I mean we had problems in the M. Who doesn't? Just didn't know that he would run to another W...a co-worker to that effect. I mean he would risk his job and reputation to have a R with this OW.
I really have to sleep this out...and stop pursuing.
