So....it's been 2 weeks and nothing's packed and he's still sleeping here and taking the dog out (except for one night he didn't sleep here after we exchanged emails and he said he could see clearly now that he couldn't help me through this, that it was hurting me to be around him). He doesn't come here much and when he does I usually leave; we don't talk and he hasn't said a word about moving. He just called to "check on me and see how I was doing." I'm having a very hard time being more than civil to him - I can't bear to ask him anything or discuss anything or share anything with him. I DON'T want to see him, I don't want to know what he's doing, it does hurt to talk to him and I don't know how to be comfortable around him or talking to him. When he called just now he asked if I knew about a mutual friend's graduation party tonight - I have NO interest in being around all the people whose lives I'm not going to be part of at all anymore - they're all his friends anyway - does he REALLY expect me to go be around all of them??? What I really wanted to say to him was, "The video store called about an overdue movie - get your own damn video rental card if you're going to be renting movies for OW and her kids, dammit, because it sure wasn't anything I'd rented!!!"
I was dreading the boxes and now I'm pissed. When I asked him 2 weeks ago if he was moving in with OW he said no, that's her house with her kids. Guess it would be too awkward for him. And student housing for the fall won't open up for a few weeks. I'm just pissed right now - fine, stay here for free until it's more convenient for you to move, use my home as a place to crash and base from which carry on with OW because God forbid things get to awkward for YOU!!!! I feel stupid and used and humiliated and mad at myself for not being able to be DB about this - which would be to just be happy he's still living here, be pleasant and bubbly around him, talk to him passionately about what's going on in my life (would be a 180 for me since I'm normally quiet and that was one of his main complaints), and just wait it out. I don't know - the DR book says that if your partner has said in no uncertain terms that he's leaving, try going dark. He's said that, he's just not DOING that - and I think it really is because it's just inconvenient for him right now. I feel like I shouldn't let him take advantage of me like this. HELP? What should I be doing, saying???
