I read your sitch and oh my god.... I couldnt believe how much my sitch matched yours. Part of my sitch is written under "Divorcing your bestfriend". I wish I had words for you that would help you get through what is or is about to happen. You don't know how much I can relate to you taking drives to be able to release those tears.... oh how I did it And during my husband's culmination, I wasn't there because it was the OW's culmination as well. They meet during school. Although I was the one there supporting his education all those years... when the time to celebrate came.. I was not asked to attend. You stated a few options that I think would be great to get away from seeing your husband move but I'm sorry they are just not doable for you. I guess my advice would be to work late and maybe go to a bookstore or coffee shop and do some reading. That's what I did in several occasions just to avoid having to see him. I have now filed for divorce but of course divorce doesn't take away the love but it did give me a feeling of him not being able to humiliate me anymore. Sometimes I wish I would have just let my husband go completely a couple of years ago when we first separated but I guess you really can't do it until you are ready. I'm sure you love your husband as I do but we can only do so much and then we have to let go and let him come back on his own. I still DB with him as difficult as it may be. He is the one that had the affair but we both made mistakes in our marriage. But one thing for sure is that I know what I want now.. after all this time of torment and false hope... I am happy with myself. As long as you keep him close.... you will have false hope. It seems like your husband still loves you as I know my husband does too but I think THEY need to figure out what they want. One update on my sitch.. well more like my H's sitch... the OW found out about my H's new woman and she freaked on him. So now he is looking for a place to stay urgently and having to change his phone numbers. And the "new woman" left him because of all the problems the OW caused. Now he is alone. And yes, coming to me in a time of need... but guess what.. I'm NOW finally strong enough to resist his presence because I know as soon as he finds a new toy.. he will be gone again. And I'm the one left hurt. I don't know what the next couple of months will bring but I'm sure they will be interesting until he finds a new woman. He can't stand being alone. Sorry for not being able to offer better words of comfort... but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and with time you do survive. I've had to let go but I believe if he truly loves me he will come back a changed man and I won't take anything less. Right now... you must live YOUR life. After almost losing my job from all the stress and drama in my life... I've managed to get a promotion and lost about 30 pounds in the last year. Look at yourself... see the beauty in YOU... and know that if it doesn't work out. You did what you could and you will find someone you deserve. At least that's the point I'm at now. It hurts to lose my H and I think it will for a long time but you have to find a way to slowing climb out of the hole he dug you into.
