My friend your wife and mine are one in the same. Mine has been playing the victim lately, prances around telling everyone how happy she is, but I know otherwise.
She is in debt way, way, way beyond her means. My niece tells me she only has $ 16 till next payday 7/16. I guess thats what you get when your priority is clubbing and partying, its sad when a 39 year old tries to act 18. She already told me she does not have any money to get (S) 11 a birthday present this weekend. She really does not give a damn about anybody else but herself. (S) 16 was asking if I could give him money for a haircut so its that bad. I made really good money and she took me for granted, after she stole $ 2,300 from our joint checking account over a 3 month period, I was forced to start my own checking account and told her, you keep your check, I'll keep mine, You pay your parents mortgage, van, your cell, your crdit cards and I'll pay mine. With that alone she is already in debt $ 2000 a month, granted I have my hands full. She was sarcastic when this was happening, said "You gotta pay what you gotta pay", or "You gotta do what you gotta do". Guess financial reality is finally setting in for her now as she is always complaining to others, I have no money, I don't know how I'm gonna pay my bills, well guess its MLC full steam ahead for her.
My niece tells me, you really see her true colors now, how can she just walk away from her 4 children and put you through hell.
She is never at home, (Shes living at parents house now since we were separated) nobody knows where she is, shes probably with her boyfriend, we'll thats what she always wanted so if she chose her path, let her suffer the consequences of her choice.
All we can do is take care of ourselves in the meanwhile, it's weird as each day goes by, I feel stronger and stronger, and releived.
She has been using the baby as a pawn lately so I am about to go dark, very, very dark, as much as it pains me because I love the baby so, so, so, so much I do not like being used as a doormat, drops him off for days on end.
Its funny how their true colors come out, she is so beautiful on the outside but so, so ugly on the inside, if it was to relive my life again, I would look for what is inside somebody, not whats on the outside.
If I could make a suggestion in your situation, stop the chase !!!! Stop pursuing your wife, she knows she has you hooked. Is your wife only working 10 hours a week? My wife was working only about 16 hours a week, I finally told her there is nothing more I can do to increase our financial income as I was already working 50 hours a week, told her the only alternative is for her to work full time, she bitched hollered and moaned, said she would quit her job, but as the weeks went by she started to increase her hours as work, My goal was for her to be able to stay home with the kids and not work, but since her priorities changed, so did mine.
Keep in touch, lets help each other through this mess.
Quote: Been away for awhile trying to make things better. Just got the same old roller coaster. I took care of the legal issues with my car last week. It worked out extremely well considering what could have happened. The problem was that I got to read what my W said in the police report. She lied her tail off in trying to get me arrested. She even hinted at domestic abuse!!! I have never in 15 years touched her in anger, never! There have been other issues too but the real kicker was the text message that I intercepted yesterday morning from her "friend" that she "didn't have contact with anymore". She had a million excuses but it was all backpedaling. I simply can't trust my W and have lost respect for her as well. The deceit and selfishness is never ending.
I was really trying but the last week has been extremely revealing about who my W really is. I am not impressed at all. She is still over spending, back on diet pills(even though we have a membership at he health club), and down to working less than 10 hrs a week but can't keep up with the housework. The pattern just keeps repeating. We were arguing over money the other day and her response was that I should work more. FYI, I took her out every Saturday night last month to the tune of almost $800. Any tips on how to handle that sort of thing?
I bought her perfume the other day, give her massages, pillow talk, help out around the house, help with the cooking, active with our sons, etc. I am lost as to what I am neglecting in the M. All is great if she gets to do exactly what she wants. Otherwise she hates me and everything I do. It's like dealing with a split personality. It seems the only solutions are to give in to her or get away from her. HELP!!!
