tbone, I don't know what to say except that only you know when you have had enough. I am sorry that she doesn't respect you enough to at least try to control the things that bother you the most. Some people are just going to do what they must to be happy, irregardless of who they hurt. Believe me, I know. If they feel the least bit of pain, I think they do what it takes to survive and get over it. I don't know what it would take to wake her up at this point, but as I said, only you know what your limits are. I didn't quite get what was going on about the car...she tried to have you arrested?
