Oh the drama! Get a call yesterday from FF and her BF. He is threatening that if I ever communicate with FF again he will tell my W that we actually met. He is swearing at me and then FF jumps in too. I couldn't believe it. I thought she was my friend and when the going got tough she bails. I had taken her crying phone calls many times. I had counseled and supported her and now that her BF knew we were communicating again she stabs me in the back. FYI, she had promised him many times that she would never speak to me again so she was covering her own tail. Unbelieveable! So now he has her "trapped" in his substance abuse world. If either of us opens communication again he will tell my W. That is a sad sitch too.

I get home and my W is quite jovial because she saw her A. She said she felt motivated and invigorated. Find out about an hour later that she spent $5000 on the retainer. I couldn't believe it. Both sides of the D shouldn't cost that. Thats what she does, spends way too much money. I am trying to pay bills today and find out that she transferred another $5000 out of our account in the last 4 days. This was very upsetting to say the least seeing that there are family bills to pay. We talked about the sitch and she was going to get back to me. She called back and said she left a message for her A to void the check and that she wouldn't be needing her services. What the ??? Does this make any sense to anybody?

My W actually went to bed without tucking in the boys. When I went to bed she was crying so I brought her some tissue and she said I shouldn't be nice to her.
We watched TV for a little bit and then she went into the bathroom. After about 15 minutes I went to check on her and found her laying on the floor. I thought she may have taken pills or something. I shook her and said her name. She was okay but had severe stomach pains. She again asked me to quit being nice to her. I am so concerned for her wellbeing that I won't push a D at all right now. I am sick, she isn't well, what would be accomplished. The more I think about it the harder it seems to go through with it. I guess that is how it is supposed to be. I waved goodbye to my boys this a.m. and my eyes filled up with tears. I just can't do it to them. I have never been more torn in all my life as I am today. Yesterday, she hired a shark A and left me with no money for bills or my A retainer. At dinner time she was on top of the world and two hours later she is a wreck. Sunday we are trying to put it back together and Monday she wants one of us to leave the house. This like "Desperate Housewives".
Tbone