We discussed alimony, child support, W moving back out, etc. We came to the conclusion that we just don't work well together. What started the conversation was my discovery of yet another EA/PA. I am tired of feeling anxious about where she is, what she is doing, and why did she really move back. I finally accepted my fate and made plans to move on. She got home late last night and asked me what was wrong. I was half asleep and said nothing. She pushed and pushed so finally I said we fight all the time and are getting a D why would I not be a little sad. I reminded her of the countless comments she has made about our incompatibility and her unwillingness to make the changes I need from her. She confirmed that she won't change who she is. This from a woman with honesty, spending, and huge self-esteem problems. I simply reminded her of what I needed from her and her unwillingness to provide it. She then went to her trump card(our sex life) and reminded me how well that still works. This from a woman who said our R can't be based on sex alone.
I guess what I am trying to say is when she finally pushes me away hard enough that I truly wanted a D she changes her mind. She expects me to just cave in to her whims but I won't do it. She can't even tell me she will make the changes much less do them and I am supposed be glad she wants me. Sorry, but I have out grown that. I want a great R or forget about it. Am I being unreasonable or is this just another case of how DBing and GAL draws them back? The problem is I don't want her back anymore. At least not as she is. She has major changes to make before I will consider it. I just can't put my heart out there again. My M is effecting my work and my children so I am afraid to stay in it.
This probably sounds like a dream sitch to many but it is far from that. Yes, I have the power back but I don't really want it. Everytime I accept my fate she 180's. All this feels like is a different roller coaster. Any wise words for one confused puppy? Thanks, TBONE
