Should I, or shouldn't I?

[NotATLDave]

Couple things...

Why are you guys still having conversations like this? After C sessions etc. those types of discussions should be old history. I know you *know* this but maybe it bears repeating.

1. Stop this irrelevant dialog. It wouldn't matter if every woman had an insatiable appetite for sex because in YOUR marriage, your spouse clearly doesn't want it that much. It wouldn't matter if every woman hated sex either because in YOUR marriage, you want more. I know you know this already.

Also, you need to end these convos in 2 seconds by saying..."It's pointless to look anywhere beyond the walls of this household. I'm sure there are women who want much more or less sex than you and I'm certain their are guys who want more or less sex than me, but the bottom line is that we are married and *I* want to ML more often than you. What do we do about it?"

2. When a group (of women for this example) get together and one mentions her "sexually needy husband whose always bugging her for more sex" usually another will validate this person's statement to either strengthen her "connection" with that person or to simply make the other person feel good and encourage her to open up more. When the others see this happening, a bandwagon effect happens and before you know it, every woman at the table has a PITA husband who is always begging for sex. I've seen this firsthand...my neighbor started trashing on a certain sex act that my W really enjoys and my W completely agrees with her. It really shocked me but I also understand and respect the privacy that my W wants to maintain about her own SL. My point in mentioning this is that it's understandable why Mrs. Hairdog would *think* that none of these women exist.

HD, I think it comes down to learning "respectful communication" and trust me, it sounds like your W needs to learn a thing or two based on your stories. You need to learn what this means to so you can enforce it. I think if you solve this problem, you will feel a million times better.

Also, it doesn't end with an increase in frequency. If the frequency picks up, you don't want to find your W claiming that women over 30 don't give BJs or something. When the communication is working, the sexual disparity puts the pressure on the right parties. Your W will hear you kindly ask to ML and she will have to face herself as she says "no" over and over again. In the end, she will be faced with her own issues and have to accept her portion of responsibility for the state of your M. Communication is key.