Thank-you Thank-You everyone for your responses! When I first started coming here I felt like there was no hope at all in my marriage. But being here has been a blessing. Other people can relate to what I am going through and that helps. To be able to vent from time to time. One valuable thing I have learned here is making a marriage work IS HARD WORK! But the hard work you put into it can change things around for the better. Another thing I have learned is I am not so perfect in this marriage. I always tend to put everything off on him. I mean I will say I'm sorry if I have done something wrong. But the whole sex drive thing I have blamed the entire thing on him. Ya know like I am sexual and he is not fullfilling that, it's all his fault.

My husband refuses to talk about the sexual issues at all. I mean he will clam up and not say a word. In 7 years he has only said a few things. One being....you have gained weight and it bothers me. I took this VERY offensively. BUT I have lost all of the weight. TWO....He said I am working just fine it is just you. Not sure how to take this, it was a heated argument. Other then that the many many times I have brought it up I could talk for two hours and he would just sit there.

The thing I am afraid of is if I have ruined him EVER talking. I will try the persistence. I really have gotten some great advice. By ruining it I mean I have said some really mean things to him. I know now it is the wrong way to handle it. But sometimes I just seem like I get so angry I can't help myself. I need to work on this. Just this last weekend I thought maybe this weekend we would have sex. Well, Friday night he was waaaay to tired. I didn't get to mad because he worked very very late, as he had to work third shift that night. Then got home and spent the day with me at our children's school for an activity they had. He had never even went to bed. But I thought it was sweet he didn't want to miss out on the kiddos big day at school. But then Saturday came and he had a headache and said he didn't feel good. It really set me off. Because he ONLY has sex on the weekends and even then there's no telling. So I tried talking to him. But when he sat there and ignored me it really started making me mad. I told him I couldn't understand why he was this way. Why he ignored this instead of being a real man and facing the problem. I asked him if he could possibly be gay. I had seen a show talking about gay men so it was on my mind. I told him I was angry and hurt that he couldn't even appologize for disappointing me and even offer a make up day one day this week.

There was even more that I said. But I went about it yet again all wrong I know. He never said sorry. Neither have I and I should. But he has tried in other ways that I may not have looked at before if it wasn't for this board. Like he did all the yeard work, has been cleaning the house while I am at work, making sure all the homework is done with the kiddos. He has cooked a couple awesome meals this week. All not typical of him. But MAYBE in his own way he is saying sorry or trying to make up for his disappointment in the bedroom this past weekend?

I know I have to learn to control my anger and not lash out. I am worried maybe I have ruined it that he will ever talk because of things I have said.