I guess what sets us apart from our spouses is that we took the initiative to actually change ourselves for the better of the relationship and ourselves.
In my case, the only thing my XW admits to is the fact she didn't speak up and nip it in the bud. What she hasn't owned up to was her need to control every aspect of my life. From the car I drive, to where I spend my money and how I dress.
I owned up to the fact that, Yes, I have an anger problem and I took the time to try and figure it out. If not for the R but for me. I also can be impulsive, and I have put a stop to that to some degree. Making my family a priority, was one of my biggest downfalls. I would go away for days on band trips and when I got home I expected my XW to stay home with me. Unfair, perhaps, seeing as she had to watch D2 at the time. When in fact she was lieing to me about it. She would take the D out to the XIL's house and leave her there for the weekend.
After years of travelling she has a lot of resentments towards me. For us to move forward, she has to let that go. And I don't feel she will ever forgive me for the time I was away. Which is going to cause her great problems in her new relationships.
