My sitch, ME, 36 XW, 33 D, 2 M, 7 years Bomb dropped on Dec. 18th (Before Christmas, that sucked) I was asked to move out on Jan, 14th. Divorce Final, Nov. 12th ( what a great gift to our D2, just 3 days after her 2nd birthday)
Wow, I can't believe this has happened so quickly. I have to tell you I have been lurking around on this board for the last 2 mos. and unfortunetly I have found people in which I have something in common. The WAW.
Let's get the party started shall we. I met my wife through a friend and immediately started seeing her. We weren't dating per say, just hanging out. We went out on our first date on Halloween, 1995. We seemed like t pee's in a pod. So much so, that I moved into her apartment the very next day. I kept my own place for about 6 mos. but rarely stayed there. I might have stayed there for 1 night the whole time, not because of any conflict. I just needed to stay there for worked related issues.
We lived together for about 2 years before I decided to "pop the question". Not the most romantic scene, as she was complaining that it would be 10 years before we get married. So, I asked her to pick a date and I will be there. This brought great laughter from the woman I had just proposed to in a round about way. At the same time I had just been asked to join a band that tours extensively through out the midwest. For the first five years, our marriage seemed to go smoothly, not without conflict, but for the most part we were good friends. I was gone quite alot on the weekends playing in Clubs and Festivals and did some touring with some big name acts. All the while holding down a full time job. When I didn't have anything going on in the music side I spent all my free time with ny wife. Doing things like going to the movies and spending the evenings watching T.V. and generally being around my wife.
This where it all gets screwed up. I will admit that I have a temper. And in the last 5 years I have had some moments that I am not proud of. No physical stuff here. After 5 years of what I thought was a good marriage. Me and the XW decided to have a child. That happened quickly, one month after stopping the pill my XW was pregnant. In 9 short months, out pops Zoe. Things seemed to get better everyday after our blessed event. 6 months after our daughter was born, my XW develops Graves Disease (Hyperthyroidism). This is where, IMHO, things started to go down hill. My wife seemed to spiral out of control, going out late and spending the evenings out with her friends til 3 a.m. on a weeknight. Her thought process started to go a little whacky. For the last year and a half I have been dealing with someone that I don't remember marrying ( the Alien Phase). So all of a sudden she decides that, well you all know. The WAW sayings and the such. Now here I am Divorced and still wondering what the Hell just Happened?
I'll give you some background Info. on both of us( as I see it.
Me, Grew up in So. Cal. moved to the great stae of Kansas some 18 years ago, Dad was a womanizing Alcoholic and Mom was a punching Bag ( emotionally speaking). Me, well I have Anger issues, that I am dealing with at this moment with some help from a counselor. Never have been the Jealous type, we all have our pasts. I have issues with Alcohol, stemming from childhood ( I don't have a problem with drinking, just uncomfortable with it in the house). That is one of my issues. I only expected 1 thing from my wife and that was to call me and let me know where she is, so I can meet up with her or if there is something wrong I can get ahold of her ( I am and will always be an overprotective father, hence wanting to know where she will be) For the most part, My anger was a big issue. Over the years I have seen my self esteem get beat down like a tent stake. With her control issues.
Now on to the XW, Her parents for the most part weren't the most affectionate people, never fought in front of their children. But were great in-laws. There in a pinch when you needed help. When I first met my wife she seemed so responsible ( something I saw in her that I wasn't). I really admired her integrity and take charge attitude. Graduated from college with a Masters Degree. Beautiful person, personality and physically. As I've said before, after the birth of our child the attitude slipped and she started hanging out with her friends more, The drinking increased, and the " I don't care" attitude became more prevalent.
Now here I am with a ton of questions.
Sorry for the lengthy post, but I really need some people to talk to about this, as I really don't have many friends here. Most of my friends still live in California. Sounds stupid, but I doon't have many close friends, my wife was really my only close friend. Between work and band stuff, I have never really been able to develop any real frindships.
