I am receiving confirmations for tomorrow's shindig. It is nice to know that my friends are still there to support me despite the changes I face. I just had a wave of sadness come over me. W & I never really had a party here at the new house. We always talked about it when we were building, that we would have a big party when we were finished. We never did. We had a small get together for a bonfire right before my bro moved to MI. Mainly folks of his high school era. My best friend is friends with all my bro's old friends because of a soccer league they belong to. They will all be here tomorrow, along with some others. It looks like roughly 5 couples (and me) so I will be the eleventh wheel. That is redundant enough to not feel too funny about it. It will be strange with W missing. Heartbreaking, in fact. But I refuse to let her absence spoil the day. I am looking forward to spending time with friends, and sharing the beautiful place that W & I built. I will be sad to leave this place, because I poured every ounce of my energy here, thinking I would die here with W. Perhaps that was a naive thought, but I am a naive sort of person, I suppose. That's why it took me so long to believe W was in an affair.
I invited a couple that we have been friends with for a long time, and W used to be very close to the W in the couple, until she blew it with the affair and acted like the friend shouldn't talk to me. She hasn't spoken to W since that time. I doubt they will come, since she is 6 mos preg, and they never seem to go to parties.
I looked through our wedding album again, and stopped short at one photo in particular. It is an image taken from the roof of the inn at the state park where we wre married. It shows W & I with the JP, the waterfall in the background, and OM standing right behind me, with a gruesome frown on his face. I was stunned by the foreshadowing of his expression.
