W called me tonight from SIL's, and said she was staying there again tonight. I know she was there for certain, due to the nephew noise. I am uncertain if she was there for the rest of the weekend, nor do I care. She said she had some thinking to do. I asked if she saw OM, and she said that she saw him today. I asked what she was thinking, and then retracted my question, since I didn't really want to know, and I certainly didn't want to get into an R talk on the phone with nephew(2) holding the phone.
I feel much better about myself and my life when she is not here (although the departure is hard) When I hear her voice, it brings up the pain. When I see her face, it brings up the pain.
I pulled out our wedding album and looked through it today. Oh, to turn back the clock.... I suppose I should put it away, since I don't want her to think I am pining away for her every day.
I told her that I was eating the first batch ever of our own homegrown asparagus tomorrow for dinner. ( I deserve it after weeding all 60+ feet for the first time since LAST spring) I said that there may be enough for two, if she shows up, but not to expect any leftovers. She said she would be home "by 7".
I signed up for a yoga class and a creative writing class at the local "family wellness center" The writing class is called "writing to heal" I have had several creative writing classes, so I don't expect much from it, beyond meeting people. W acted like it was weird that I was taking a yoga class. I always told her she should take a class, for years, and she finally did when the stuff hit the fan. I have chronic neck shoulder and back pain from pounding metal all of the time, and I am stiff as a board. I figure if I can get more limber, I will be less prone to injury (and I will meet people).
W sounds like a stranger. It is making the move-on easier. I wish she would move out for a while, and move in with the squirrel. Then she would see him in a new light, and I would get my head straight without her pulling me down. The bottom is where you choose to hit it, and I hit bottom on 4/28. I am done (said it before) letting her drag me down (say it again) I am done trying to change her. I am done trying to change for her.
I am a catch, and she dropped me. I'll be a catch again, better than before.
Out in the dark I'm going to let it shine Oh, out in the dark I'm going to let it shine Hallelujah Out in the dark I'm going to let it shine Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine
