(Oops! I just realized I posted this on Wes' thread...apologies, Wes, but there's been a lot of overlap between your's and Bruce's threads the past couple of days!)
Bruce,
I've read this post of yours a couple of times, and something bothered me about it. I think I just put my finger on it:
Quote: Your interactions with X are positive, as mine are; this beats the alternative. But in my mind, it really means nothing, because I believe they do not perceive what we do.
It occurs to me that you just let your W/XW have all the power by making this statement.
In effect what you are saying is this: "Yes, I've made all of these great changes, but b/c she doesn't notice, then it's all been for nothing -- I only really made the changes for her."
Honey, if you've only made your changes for her, then they aren't really lasting changes. If you boil DR down to a few essentials, it's about changing ourselves, FOR ourselves, and ONLY for ourselves!
And, it's not unlikely that you will know what your WAS is thinking. It's IMPOSSIBLE for you to know what they are thinking, even when you are closely engaged in an R. You can never truly get inside someone else's skin. You can only listen with an objective ear and empathize.
Does any of this make sense? I think it ties into the observation I made earlier about the anger/negativity I've noticed on your thread from you and some of the other guys. You are all really saying, "Well sh*t! I made all of these changes, and she hasn't notices, so screw it! I'm done!"
