Thanks for your comments. And Linda, your advice is appreciated to. The beauty of this site is that I think many of us give better advice than we take from others. We are too close to our own situation to take advice that seems to us against the grain. Like going dark or not pursuing. I do in general follow the advice, but sometimes in the heat of the moment it flies out the window.
I want to play devils advocate to something you said JohnDad
Quote: Over and over again I see simple pursuit by you...yes, she is willing to be pursued, but one of the major facts of DR/DBing is that pursuit does not work.
The LRT is only one of the techniques of DBing and that is where it says no pursuing...gifts, frequent calls, ILYs, etc. BUT, what if some degree of pursuing is a 180? I tried the go dark and not pursuing thing before and her response was "that is what you always do"...."I wasn't in the game" as she puts it. Another aspect of DBing is do more of the positive things and less/none of the negatives. In other words...continue what works. If getting together seems positive shouldn't I do more of that?
So the question....if she is willing to be pursued and it does not have negative consequences should I discontinue it? The physical stuff definitely has had a negative consequence...I won't do that in any form. I just don't know about the initiating part. Yes, I know, sounds like I'm justifying some pursuit.
Bruce I agree with you. She's getting the benefit of family time without the work. But as long as we have fun and I don't scare her off with too much don't these positive interactions lead in the right direction?
And yes, I saw her several times yesterday. Nothing weird. We were back to where we were before the near sex experience.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
