Did you miss the part where I said I thought the tide was turning??? Go back and read, on your own thread, about the stages Sage posted. She is really on target there, and you're at a point where you need to really pay attention to that or you'll get caught in a loop that will blow your efforts out of the water.
Seriously, Wes, do it. Sit still and let her start to develop the pull. It WILL happen! Look at my sitch! It's happening now, even as we speak! My SO has some crap to work through, but it is HAPPENING, DUDE! And we weren't even married or had kids together!
Or, look at it this way -- My SO is the love of my life. As difficult as it is for him right now, he needs to go through what he's going through so he can be a better person. I love him THAT much -- enough to sit back and watch him suffer and struggle when what I really feel like doing is running in and rescuing him. But I can't, much as it kills me to see him suffer in angst. I know I can't b/c that will short-circuit the growth he needs to encounter.
Love your W enough to let her grow. It will be alright.
And we weren't even married or had kids together! 