Thanks for the suggestion. I am going to find a book on the subject. It will likely have to prove useful in a future relationship. This one is over. I can only be the kids' friend now rather than s-dad. Here's my update...
My W asked how the night went so I sent her an e-mail telling her about it. Here is her reply
Quote: Thanks for the update. He seemed fine this morning except for being mad at me for being late.
I know I'm a bugger. I don't blame you for hating me but I am going to sign today. I'm sorry. I'm not being cheap about it but I am sorry.
I called and said I'd run down at some point and sign too. I told her I wasn't mad and didn't hate her; that I understood she felt she was doing the right thing. I just said I am disappointed and disagree with you.
Then I took a note from Gabriel's book and wrote her back an e-mail.
Quote: Deborah,
It seems really weird that we've come to this so fast. Things kind of snowballed after January. I'm sorry too. Sorry that we couldn't work things out. I've given you enough apologies and what's more changed the things about myself that really weren't worth liking. I think that is apology enough. You always said that actions spoke louder than words.
This note is about forgiveness. I forgive you for all the things that contributed to the demise of our marriage and I'm sure they don't need listed. I forgive you for breaking up what we had. I know that you truly feel this is the right thing to do even if I do not. It's also about thanking you. I thank you for sharing your life with me. In a funny sort of way I thank you for this experience because it opened my eyes to what I can be.
I think that part of the purpose of our lives is to love and be loved in return. I truly love you with all my heart, but I also understand that it would be impossible to continue on with a relationship in which love was not returned. I hope you have a happy life. Take care of yourself and your wonderful, beautiful children. I'll offer you whatever support I can in your upcoming adventure. Love, Wes
Don't feel that this note is premature. Once this thing is signed by both of us there is nothing holding us back from D. No laws in this state require separation time. I'm going dark from her. It can't hurt me now and will give me some time to work on my book. Unfortunately I think I need to go dark from my s-kids for awhile too. I've really never let any of them experience what their new life truly is about. I'm celebrating with the kids tonight.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
