Things just keep getting better and better...NOT. I guess when I chose to come to this area of the board I knew what I was doing. I will likely be divorced pretty soon. I might even beat some of you that have had a big head start.
So here's the skinny. My W called last night with the usual preamble..."You'll probably hate me, but..." to inform me that the paperwork for the D is complete. All we have to do is both sign off on it and it'll be done. No need to serve me or anything if we can both agree to the stuff.
My response: Well if you are in a hurry just bring it by work tomorrow and if it looks okay I'll sign off on it and maybe you can get it back to the lawyer the same day. I know you are anxious to get your maiden name back. She said "I'm not in that big of a hurry". Some non-DB things then occurred. I told her we weren't that great of friends since my friends don't expect me to always initiate contact. I said "you already think of yourself as single anyway" referring to her previous "only single girl in the apartment complex" and I also asked her why she didn't think we could work things out. She didn't really answer that one. I ended it by saying I would support whatever she chose to do, that I wished her luck on her test, and that I would miss her and the kids. I also said "I love you. I don't expect a reply back."
I then went out to eat (and drink) and when I got back she called...first the house then the cell. I didn't answer either one. My wife's sister and some of the other girls from work called and said they were stopping over...so we hung out and drank for awhile. My W called 3 other times to house and cell and I didn't answer any of them. Bad idea I guess....she stopped over saying that my step-D wanted to walk the dog (it was 9:30 by this point and really cold). She was obviously displeased with me being with 4 girls, but oh well. My step-D wanted to stay the night and at first my W didn't want her too, but after the girls left she said ok. So I saw my W this am when she picked up S-D for school. She was pretty cold. Again, doesn't matter to me. I was pleasant and friendly.
Know what? I'm in a really good mood. I think it comes from the realization that there is absolutely nothing I can do different to stop this divorce train. This isn't about me or my faults. It's entirely about her. I can only be the improved man I am and nothing else. So when it happens I guess it happens. Of course I also don't fear this because it's just a piece of paper. Might make it easier to DB really.
But one thing bugs me. I've been giving advice and I think I don't know squat about DBing. At least not successfully. I've done nothing but get closer and closer to divorce. So I think I'll quit giving advice...at least about saving marriages. I know quite a bit about divorce.
Wes
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
