I just wanted to refer you back to your thread title. You're attempts to reel her back in have their positive effects, but I'm not so focused or worried about those. Instead, I'm puzzled about your ideas or attitude. Are you very focused on saving your M? If you had to choose, what would you rather have - the M or the R? If its the latter, at least for a while, will you be okay with that?
Shifting focus and reminding me of that on a consistent basis has really helped me to not lose it as my likely D approaches. The reality is that my W and I are getting along better than we have in quite a while. Maybe its due to false ideas or the D freedom factor on the part of W, but I would guess a good part of this change has to do with her responding to my DBing and improvements.
Trust yourself and the process, La. If it feels right to shake things up or to invite her somewhere, by all means do so. But stay disciplined about your own mindset and remind yourself of your answer to that above question.
Sam has some wise advice, gently asking you to attend to your needs by yourself (self-love), then to attend to W when around her.
