I believe the reason they sometimes seem to feel more for the OW and kids than their own is because they are about to cut it off and not see them anymore, whereas their own kids and wife, in their minds, will always be there no matter what. And he jumped into an R with all kinds of promises to OW and he's got the guilt of having to go back on it. And she is pressuring him. I understand this has been going on for a long time. It just seems like things busted wide open here and change can take place now that he got it out in the open. He might be a total loser, jerk that doesn't deserve Deb's compassion, but then again maybe he isn't--maybe he's just made a huge mistake and doesn't know what to do to get out without hurting everyone.
My H totally turned my life upside down--I lost my home, had to file for bankruptcy and start a new life. I hated him for it for a while--while he was running around with the wh*re next door, seemingly not caring about me at all. Sometimes I just wanted to give up. This crap is hard and I wouldn't say what I did would work for everyone, but since it did work for me, I want to share to add to people's resources. I've gotten lots of great advice off this board and want to give back. But I also realize that my advice may not be helpful in some sitches and that's ok too.
Honestly, if I was in her shoes I don't know exactly what I would do. It is easy to say, but harder to do.
