Deb has been bending over backwards for up to a couple of years now to try to trust him - and he hasn't earned it. If she pretty much goes back to the way it has been, then nothing has changed and he may feel that he can just go back to the same old, same old. I don't know that he necessarily wants to be with Deb, he may just be scared to make a change that would not include her anymore.
She has been loving him unconditionally all this time and he hasn't left OW. I think at this time, she needs to be a bit tougher on him - and figure out what SHE wants. He needs to show her that he wants to be with her. I'd mentioned watching Cheaters - you sometimes see women who just take their men back with no thought (or men taking women back) and you just know that it's more likely that the person will cheat yet again - because it cost nothing on the part of the cheater to be taken back. And I'd not be running to be all romantic and sexual with someone who was just screwing another woman. I guess I've changed a lot - I don't see myself as someone anymore who'd wait a long time. I wouldn't divorce easily, but if my H had the same type of thing going on, I'd not stay in the same household. It is torture.
