I am SOOOOO sorry this happened. Personally, I think the only way to have it over between him and her is to let him COMPLETELY have her. Right now, she's probably just cheap sex and romantic feelings - not reality.
Maybe going to another town and having a fresh start isn't such a bad idea. Sign up for school, get a roommate, etc. Life is much less expensive when you have one. Although if you could kick H's but out the door, you could start adding a roommate or two now.
I am glad to see you pissed - instead of wavering anymore. He has been lying to you in a big way, and I'm so sorry that he has been. I can't imagine that you will be staying in your job, since you have to see both of them?
There is a lot to think about. Maybe you should bring all of your evidence to a lawyer this week.
I don't know if anyone has ever watched Cheaters - it is our guilty pleasure. I have to say that in most cases, those who try to come back after cheating have been kicked to the curb and found out things the hard way. I wish I'd been strong enough a few years ago to just go live my life myself, but I know that in the same situation, I would be now.
Deb - I am glad you snooped. I know that it is probably humiliating, and difficult, and painful beyond belief - but at least you know. You sound like a different person now.
I think sometimes the fact that H asked where you were and such - that way he could control where you'd be, and when he could be out or on the phone, etc. If he has no idea where you are or when you would be home - it puts a crimp in his style.
