Deb - I would take more than a weekend, I'd take a week. Do it - do something for yourself. Book yourself something for the VERY near future (next week?) - somewhere where you can think, relax, etc. I find that good exercise helps alleviate stress in a major way.
Personally, I think you should kick him out. He has been playing you for a long time. Yes, he'd likely go to "the whore". But IMHO, the longer he is having BOTH of you, the longer that will take to play out. It is a risk - heck, it is ALL a risk. But perhaps by having to deal with her 24/7, he'd finally realize what a needy b*tch she is. He should finally choose ON HIW OWN not to be with her anymore. You could go for another year or two with him screwing around on the sly, and then he could leave anyway. I think you should be the strong one and let him know what you found, and kick his ass out the door.
How is that for an opinon? I just think life is too short to have to deal with this much longer. I do think you should take a trip - do something fun. If he can afford "the whore", then you can afford a vacation. I am very, very sorry that he is still doing this. And likely if he has phone cards, he is talking to her much more than you have found. That does not include anytime that she may be calling him, either.
Get pissed, Deb. Don't think anymore about what you can do FOR him. You aren't subserviant. Marriage is 50-50, and sometimes we have to pick up the slack for the other party. But you shouldn't be picking up all the slack, and that is what you are doing.
I don't agree with snooping most of the time - but I think its good that you did. It puts everything in perspective, and you know he has been lying. I think that you should tell him you know that he has been lying, and then tell him he needs to leave. When he is ready- IF he is ready - to come back home, he needs to earn it. He needs to earn YOU. Because you deserve a hell of a lot better than what he is doing to you.
I hope you understand that. You deserve MUCH better. Either from him, or from someone else. You have worked your ass off to fix this marriage, and I am sure you are still willing to do so if he changes. But this is about you now. I'd definitely see a lawyer, get that vacation under my belt, and start getting yourself a life that has nothing to do with him.
Want to be pissed? Think about the types of things he is telling her about YOU. Sharing stuff about you and he, and things that are NONE of her business.
