I am a mess right now, and can't see much good of anything.
I guess the part that is so hard to deal with is I have told him over and over and over that I am not going to live with this forever. I mean it. I am serious as a heartbeat. I have told him that he is free to go, and in fact that he NEEDS to go and do it quickly if that is where he wants to be. he bawls and weeps and tells me is is over, all the while he is still on the phone with her constantly. several times each day as nearly as I can see. I am so confused, I don't know what is going on. Is he just using me, stringing me along?????why? because he's afraid? IF HE WANTS HER, WHY THE HELL DOESNT HE GET HIS BUTT DOWN THERE? IF HE WANTS OUR LIFE, WHY THE HELL DOESNT HE LET HER GO?
