So glad to hear that your surgery went well. I really hope that this lessens the pain for you in the future. I am sorry that I have been away...first out of town and then so involved with yard work, etc that I haven't had a chance to get on line until today. I thought of you often this past week and was hoping for the best for you!
I think that I have caught up on things with you. All things sound good and positive. Sounds like things are moving forward and your h is settling back into family life. Personally, IMHO, YOU are the one who needs to do some catching up here! LOL
Obviously trust is a huge issue for you. But I think that you need to stop and ask yourself why it is soooo huge right now. Is it because you are afraid of being duped again? From your previous posts it seems like you were pretty hard on yourself for not seeing all the "signs". As you said, you were not a person who was easily fooled. And maybe you are trying to hard not to be fooled again. ??
Deb, you have to remember that you and H were in a committed relationship for quite a number of years, why, why, why would you ever have needed to be on guard? Why would you ever have wanted to find dirt on him? That is not something a committed person would do on a day to day basis. Sure we all look back at our situations and say, "jeesh, I should have known". Well, my feeling is that, "jeesh, you should not have known because you should have expected some level of trust in a long-term relationship. Anyway, I think it's time that you stop blaming yourself for not being "the all knowing, all seeing Deb" and forgive yourself.
You are not responsible for your h's actions. Again, IMHO, that is a burden your H has to bear, not you. I think that the sooner that you forgive yourself, the sooner you can forgive your h and he forgive himself.
And, looking forward, if he does it again are you responsible? NO! He is. Allow him that, Deb. Do not take that burden on again.
Ever see that movie "Bob" with Bill Murray? His doctor gives him a prescription with the words "take a vacation from your problems" written on it. I think, hon, this is exactly what you need!
Have some FUN!
I check in again real soon! Take care.
Dawn
p.s. Forgot to add....Remember to always ask for what you need and be clear about it. These men can not read our minds. (I don't even think they want to! LOL) (Was thinking about this with reagards to him leaving the night of your surgery.)
