I know it's a cheeseless tunnel, but I'm just having such a hard hard time. I wonder if I will ever get past all--or even any of this. It is encouraging to know your gut tells you he's trying. My gut says the same thing, at least initially, but then doubts creep in because frankly, I no longer trust my gut. I would have never in million years believed he would have an A, and NEVER take up w/someone like ow. So, the jist of it is, when I think I am seeing positives, I begin to doubt them because it was such a huge huge shock. I mean, frankly I've never thought I was the naive type....I can usually smell a rat a mile away, and have always kind of had an "instinct"....creeped out feeling, I guess, regarding rats. I never saw this coming with H, and that is what makes it so darn hard to get through. So, i guess the answer is I THINK he is trying, actually he is better in most ways as far as attentiveness, consideration, etc., than he has been for YEARS, probably since S was a baby.
And, my perceptions may very well be skewed right now because of being so down and tired because of surgery...I know that I do become very emotional when I'm tired, when I don't feel well, or when I'm PMSing...I think all three are in effect right now.
