We have 3 kids together S8, S7,D5 , and I have a D12 from a previous R. We were married 5 yrs, together 6. There was many things that went wrong in our marriage, which truly was all my fault.
I have worked a great deal on myself and have made great accomplishments. For This I give all thanks to the grace of GOD . I am a very firm believer in that everything happens for a reason.
There is a lot of pride on her behalf to overcome. This has been the real struggle for us. I think she knows that I still love her. All I can say is if our lives are meant to be together then so be it. If they are not, then so be that as well.
All that I can do is be the better man. The one she doesn't think exsits in me. This is one of my many many goals that I continue to work on. She really needs to see, that the man she married, is forever turning into a person, that she should not live without. Not the idiot she divorced.
I continue to get better. Especially for all those that are currently in my life now, and those who are not,and those that will be in the future. All I can do is hope that all the prayers that I pray for, GOD BE WILLING will be
answered.
We have a child support hearing on 4/28 @ 10:30 for an increase in child support. This she will not be attending. I know she needs more money. Do you think by me giving her this without a fight might give her a different outlook towards me? This battle for the increase in child support has been going on for well over 6 mos. Only becuase of the bitterness and anger that has built up inside of me. If I'm thinking right and end this fight now, this might be a great way to let her know Im changing. It also should show her I care for her and our children.
She is a great mother, and this is something I will forever be grateful. I know she is in a bad way. She is just trying to do the best she can with what she has. I just hope we can talk very soon. Which I know is coming.
I really need to stay in touch with all of you, so I don't screw up. My feelings are if I apply great DB'ing practices, and some more work on my behalf. We might be able to put it all back together again. Then we could work on a relationship that will last til death do us part, not divorce do us part.
Do you think a Telephone coach would help this late in the game? I really need to get more goal oreinted. I really appreciate all of your support. I think this is a good place to vent and get some great advice. You all really don't know how much hope, I recieve from reading your all of your posts.
My prayers go out to all of you. Also, may the GOOD LORDBLESS ALL OF US AND GRANT US THE PEACE AND SERENITY AND STRENGHTH TO GET US THROUGH THESE TROUBLESOME TIMES.
I think we all believe that our marriage is worth fighting and definitly worth changing for. So lets not give hope. As long as there is a notion and a will to continue on DB'ing we all have a chance.
Please pray for me as I continue on, through this pearilous journey. One that is not to be won, but one that needs to be earned through trial and error.
